Ray of Light
by Ariannel
Summary: After the end of the TV series... Asuka's mind is joined with one who so breifly stayed and who, upon leaving, left Shinji's heart broken and confused.
1. Default Chapter

* * * * * * * * * * *   
* Into this universe and why not knowing  
* Where like water calmly flowing  
* And out of it as wind along the waste  
* I know not where or why it's blowing   
*   
* Then to the rolling heavens I cried   
* Asking, what light and destiny to guide  
* Her little children stumbling in the dark  
* A blind understanding heaven replied  
*  
* And that inverted bowl we call the sky  
* Where under crawling we live and die  
* Lift not thy hands to it for help  
* For it rolls on eternal as you or I  
*   
* Into this universe  
* And why not knowing  
*   
* * * * * * * * * * *  
--Bonus to anyone who can figure out where the above came from. ^_^ (Jump down to the end for the answer)  
  
  
Ray of Light - Prologue  
  
Shinji stared at Asuka's still body lay out on the bed, her chest rose and fell ever so slightly. On her face was an expression of peace. This was an image of Asuka that was new to him. She looked angelic. Her hair was entwined in a mass of red and orange across the pillows. A smooth shoulder peeked from underneath an oversized hospital gown.)  
  
'If Asuka caught me staring at her, she would kick my ass. But, she can't do anything.... she's been unconscious for three days so far', Shinji thought.  
  
'What am I supposed to do? Kaworu is.... I killed him. My heart feels broken... Misato is... and Rei is... I'm scared.... There is no one else I can talk to, Asuka. No one wants me anymore. There is no more need for Evangelion... no more need for a pilot.... I am worthless.' The boy hid his head behind his hands and wept.   
  
"Asuka... help me..." Shinji whispered.  
  
***  
  
"Pilot Soryu. The Second Child." A willowy voice filled the void that encompassed Asuka.  
  
'Who is that calling my name?'  
  
"Asuka Langley Soryu."  
  
'Who are you? What do you want?'  
  
I am called Tabris, the 17th Angel.  
  
'What?? Where are you??'  
  
I am here.  
  
Asuka's sight focused on an image of a boy her age appearing before her amidst the darkness. He reminded her of Rei Ayanami with his light white skin and red eyes. His hair was a greyish-white. Curiously, he was dressed as a junior high student from Tokyo-3... Her brow furrowed in sudden repulse.  
  
"What do you want? Leave me alone! Get out of my head!" Asuka lashed out. Her tone of voice hadn't the desired effect. The boy smiled softly, hands in his pockets, and somehow Asuka could feel his calmness around her like a warm blanket.  
  
"I appear to you to deliver a message."  
  
"What message?" Asuka said with wary.  
  
"The end is near. Humanity has conquered the first trial. The Trial of Value. The next and final trial shall not be so easy. Humanity shall be judged, for good or for evil, and the outcome shall determine eternal life or damnation."  
  
"What do you mean? The angels that we fought were just tests? Tests by whom?" She felt herself becoming angry again. Again, his smile was serene, and she felt another wave of the warm calm blanket.  
  
"The Almighty is the one who executes judgment."  
  
"Why are you telling me this? You're the enemy."  
  
"You have been chosen by the Almighty to bear this message to humanity, and take action with the 6 other chosen to save your very existence. By the end of your trial, you will know who is the enemy, and who is not."  
  
"No! I don't want to be chosen! I want to stay here where I am. There is no pain in this place. I am finally at peace!" Asuka curled up in a ball, hugging her legs. Her hair shifted and seemed to caress her body in the weightless realm she had created for herself.  
  
"No. You cannot stay here. Your soul will return to its vessel because it is the will of the Almighty. Remember, the Almighty knows what is best for your soul. The Almighty will be with you, to help you. You must believe in him."  
  
"But why me? I am useless now. I can't help anyone." She said, anguish wracking her frail body. "No one needs me anymore."  
  
"That is an Untruth. At this very moment, a friend, a boy, watches over you, crying for your help, but you do not respond."  
  
"A friend?" She asked, lifting her head. Shinji's solemn image fastened in her mind.   
  
"Yes. Shinji Ikari needs you and is asking for your help. Will you go to him?"  
  
"No. He does not need me. It does not have to be me that he needs. That boy will take help from anyone."  
  
"That is also an Untruth. Look closer, and you will find that it is indeed you that he needs, for you two have been blessed as one of the Soul-Joined."  
  
"Soul-Joined? To Shinji? Now I really am doomed..." She said, a hint of humour crept into her null voice.  
  
"It is the truth, and now I must leave. Please take care of your soul-mate, Asuka Langley, for he is of mutual interest to me. And remember what I told you. The outcome of Armageddon lies with you youth."  
  
"Wait! Don't leave!" She had many questions and seemingly no answers. How dare he invade her soul, tell her things she wished not to hear, and then leave just as quickly. Before her thoughts could become heated, she felt the wave of calmness again, and she suddenly relaxed.   
  
"Do not fear. We will meet again."  
  
Asuka suddenly felt herself falling from the void. Without panic, she closed her eyes and thought of what just transpired. The 17th Angel, Tabris... how is he connected to Shinji? Was he defeated? He must have been... how? And what was it about Armageddon? The last trial? 6 chosen? Who were the 6? There are only three not counting Suzuhara.... right?   
  
Before another thought entered her mind, she was slammed back into her physical body, gasping for breath.  
  
***  
  
"Asuka! Asuka!"  
  
Asuka opened her eyes, breathing heavily. She looked at who was calling her name and saw a boy smiling at her through tears.  
  
"Shinji..." She said, her voice barely even a whisper.  
  
"Oh Asuka! You're ok! You're really ok! I-we... were so worried."  
  
Asuka closed her eyes and tried to steady her rapidly beating heart. The damn lights of this room feel like they are burning holes through my eyelids. My stomach aches.... Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something important? Shiest...   
  
Shinji slumped in a chair beside Asuka's bed and wiped the tears from his eyes. Asuka managed to move her head to the right and looked at him with a blank expression. Then her brows furrowed slightly.  
  
"What's wrong with you, Stupid-Shinji?"  
  
"N-nothing." He said. "I-I don't know."  
  
The door to the hospital room opened swiftly and a plump, rosy-cheeked female doctor strolled in followed by two nurses. Shinji leaved his place at the chair to make room for the ladies.   
  
"How are you feeling, child?"  
  
"I'm fine..." Asuka said blankly. She didn't want to see strangers right now.  
  
"Very good. Do you feel weak?"  
  
"What do you think? My stomach hurts."  
  
"Of course, my dear. You haven't eaten anything in 3 days."  
  
"Three days!" She said, eyes wide.  
  
"Yes." The doctor turned to Shinji. "You, child. Be a dear and leave us for a moment. Your friend appears to be quite well. If you want, you may notify her guardian of the good news."  
  
"Uh... ok." Shinji cast her a longing look and then reluctantly exited the room.   
  
"That boy is precious. He has been coming here everyday to check on you. He's the only visitor you had."  
  
Strangely, Asuka's heart skipped. The only visitor I had... was Shinji? Why did he care, anyway? Idiot.  
  
***  
  
Misato was lying on the floor of the living room, surrounded by empty cans of beer. Her face was tear streaked, however, it looked as if she hadn't cried for several minutes. Pen Pen lay in the exact same position next to her and occasionally glanced at her face, trying to read Misato's mood.  
  
"Pen Pen?"  
  
Pen Pen's head perked up.  
  
"Why can't I get drunk? Have I finally become immune to alcohol?" Pen Pen shrugged as much as a warm-weather penguin could. Misato buried her face in her hands, sobbing silently, but the tears would not come. Pen Pen nudged Misato gently.  
  
"I know, I know, Pen Pen. I need to get over it.... I can't just continue like this... I have a duty... to Nerv... and to the children.... but it hurts so much! To think about him... the smell of him... the look of him... his laugh, his intelligence, his everything..." Misato drifted off and put her hands over her face. Finally, she sighed.  
  
"I need to be strong, right, Pen Pen? No more whining and crying, right? None of this... None of this... pathetic display... "  
  
She took a swig of a half-empty can, then offered the last bit to Pen Pen. He declined, surprisingly, and she tipped the rest into her mouth.  
  
Pen Pen jumped up as soon as the phone rang.  
  
" Wraa?" He answered.  
  
Misato lifted her eyebrows as Pen Pen gave the phone to her.  
  
"Wraa." He said, and settled back down next to her.  
  
"Thanks Pen Pen. Hello? Shinji? Yes, I'm fine. No, really. I'm ok." Misato sat up quickly, and then truly wished she hadn't.  
  
"Urp... R-really? Damn my head... Ok, I'll be right over."  
  
Click.  
  
Pen Pen gave her a questioning look. She laid back down on the floor and put an arm over her eyes.  
  
"Well, Pen Pen. I'm still sober, Shinji's happy, Asuka's doing fine, and you just refused beer. Does this all seem wrong to you?"  
  
"Wraa." Pen Pen said and waddled to his cooler, opened it, stepped inside, and then shut it.  
  
***  
  
End of Prologue  
  
Authors notes: Do ya like it? Flambe's, Halleluiah's, and anything in between to ariannel@hotmail.com. Thanks! Oh! And the answer to the Bonus question is: Opus III from the album Mind Fruit. What a great album!  
  
  
  



	2. Ray of Light - Chapter 1

* * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * *  
* I talk to the wind   
* The wind cannot hear  
*  
* I'm on the outside  
* Looking inside   
* What do I see   
* Much confusion   
* Disillusion   
* All around me   
*   
* The wind cannot hear  
*   
* You don't possess me  
* Don't impress me   
* Just upset my mind  
* Can't instruct me   
* Or conduct me   
* Just use up my time  
*   
* The wind cannot hear  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
-- Taken from track 2 of Opus III: Mind Fruit

Ray of Light -- Chapter 1:

_I'm bored. Misato and Stupid-Shinji demanded that I stay in the house and recuperate. Aaaargh!! How DARE they tell me what to do? I'm fine dammit!_ Asuka thought, frustration seeped through her mind. 

Despite her sharp words, she felt happy that that they cared.... Which was something that puzzled her greatly. Ever since she woke up in the hospital she felt weird. Like calm.... patient ... understanding. Like she took on the behaviourisms of someone else... She frowned and clenched her fists. She wanted the old Asuka back! Because... 

"The old Asuka wasn't such a wimp." She said softly, "Wasn't so much like... Shinji." 

Asuka growled in frustration. "Shinji, you moron! You've corrupted me!" 

Of course, her outbursts drew no one's attention, as she was the only person in the house. _But I still can't bring myself to hate him. Ever since I woke up, he's been hovering over me like a concerned parent... it's unpleasantly nice, but... what's his deal, anyway?_

Her mind wandered to the events of the day. She had made the mistake of telling Shinji she was thirsty for a certain drink and he was out the door faster than a cheetah. She wanted to be angry that he treated her like an invalid, but, for some reason, she just wasn't.... She sighed and lay on the ground turning the pages of a manga that she wasn't really reading. 

God, she was bored. 

At that very moment, though, the door burst open and Shinji came in with a medium sized box full of Pocari Sweat. He stumbled and just barely slammed it on the table before he collapsed on the ground, heaving in large gulps of air. 

"Shinji! Honestly, you didn't have to buy out the entire store. Idiot." 

"I-it's ok." He sat up with a lopsided grin. "They had a sale. Don't worry. Um... they're not cold though." 

"All right." She said. Asuka took a can from the box and brought it to the kitchen, fixing her drink with ice. 

"So, um. You feeling ok?" 

The string on her very small bag of patience broke. Asuka turned to glare at the meek boy. 

"Shinji! I'm not sick. I don't have any broken bones. I'm not mentally ill. Stop treating me like it!" 

"S-sorry." He said, distressed. 

"And what did I say about 'sorry'? Quit apologizing!" She frowned. 

"Well, I am sorry!" He said, defence in his voice. 

Asuka shook her head and rolled her eyes as she stirred the drink with her finger, sitting down at the table. Shinji started to dig through the box, and she watched him as he became frustrated with his search. Finally, his face cleared pleasantly and he pulled out a magazine that was in a protective plastic sheet. 

_It's amusing how transparent he is_, She thought. 

"Here. I picked this up on my way. Um, I thought you'd like something to read." 

"Oh, thanks." 

Shinji's surprise could not be contained. He stared at her wide-eyed while she leafed through the magazine. Asuka could feel his eyes on her, drilling holes in her head. She decided to ignore him. After a few minutes, she finally gave in with an exasperated sigh and looked up. 

"What gives, Third Child?" 

"Th-That's the first time you've thanked me for anything." 

"It is not!" Asuka looked at him in astonishment and her face flushed with discomfiture. "Hmmph!" 

Asuka took a drink and went back to reading her magazine. She could feel his eyes on her again and she wondered what he was thinking. So what if it was the first time? I just didn't give thanks easily, that's all. He should be honoured. _Dumkopf_! 

"So... do you know?" 

"Know what?" She spat, still irritated. 

"About school. We have to go back to school in a couple of weeks." 

"School? Are you kidding? I'm not going back to school." 

"What? Why not?" 

"First of all, I already have a college degree. I don't need to go back to school. Second, they don't teach much else besides the Second Impact, and if they do teach something else, it's in relation to it. Third of all, no one else is going to school, why should I? I don't want us to be the only kids there; it's lame!" 

"I guess so. But Asuka, what will you do?" 

Asuka rested her cheek on one hand, elbow on the table, and wiped the condensation from the side her glass with her index finger. "I don't know. Misato hasn't said anything to me about anything! I've just assumed I'll stay here." 

"But, all the angels have been defeated! They don't need us anymore, do they?" 

"Who knows?" She closed her eyes with weariness, and then they snapped back open as a thought occurred to her. 

"Shinji.... what was the last angel like?" 

Shinji's eyes flashed with pain and his comely features tensed in a sorrowful expression. "While you were... unconscious... the 5th Child was picked...N-Nagisa Kaworu.... he was.... the 17th Angel." 

Why is he so upset? He didn't actually care for the angel, did he? Asuka looked at him thoughtfully. 

"So..." 

Shinji raised his head and smiled softly at Asuka. "I-it's ok. It's over now... I had to do it. Let's not talk about it, ok?" 

"Fine." 

After an awkward moment of silence, Shinji opened a can of Pocari Sweat, took a sip, and then spat it right out in disgust. 

"Yuck! It's warm!" He said, wiping his face. 

"Idiot. You just told me that a few minutes ago, too." Asuka couldn't hide her mirth. 

"..." 

"Now look, you've got it all over the table!" She grimaced. 

"Don't worry, I'll clean it." He said and stood to get a towel. 

Asuka looked at him while he fished through the linen closet. She noted that he had a remarkable sense of recompose, somehow, while retaining his usual meek idiocy at the same time. She wondered what it was that was different about him. 

At that moment, the phone rang. 

"Hello? Hikari? Yeah, I'm all right... No, really... I'm ok... You are? They are? How do you know? Oh, I see... Well, I decided I wouldn't go to school anymore." 

Asuka held the phone away from her ear as her friend started to shout. 

"Calm down, Hikari. Let me at least think about it... All right, All right... Yeah... Me too... Ok... Bye." 

Shinji looked at her expectantly as he wiped the table. 

"That was Hikari. She's all right. She says that Suzuhara and Ida are coming back to school in a couple of weeks. She's coming too." Shinji looked unnerved. 

"R-really? Touji is coming back? W-when did he? I mean...." 

"What, you haven't visited him? Shame on you. It seems that he's doing ok and he'll be released soon. Hikari knows the news. Maybe you ought to see how he's doing. Not that I care. That big oaf can just up and rot." 

Shinji stood up quickly, shifted from one foot to the other, and eyed Asuka expectantly. 

"What?" 

"Um... I'm going...." 

"So what? Then go." 

Shinji flew out the apartment, mumbling a 'See you later'. She could hear his feet racing down the isle of the complex. _Idiot._ _What, was he seeking my permission or something? Like I care what he does. I'm not going to die if I'm left alone, for god's sake. How irritating. _

Asuka stretched and yawned. So tired.... she was so tired... maybe she would take a nap... yeah... that sounded like a good idea... 

And she slept. 

* * * 

"Asuka Langley Soryu." 

"What? You again? Tabris?" 

"Yes, it is I." 

His image appeared before her again. Asuka narrowed her eyes in suspicion. He didn't seem as distant as the first time. His voice was clear and concise. 

"You're the 17th Angel, right? So you're Nagisa Kaworu! The 5th Child." 

"You're correct. I was the 5th Child, and Shinji Ikari's friend." 

"What do you want with me? Why are you here, in my dreams?" 

"I have come to visit you. You interest me." 

"Oh really?" She said, her voice hinting at sarcasm. 

"It is true." 

"Get out of my mind. I don't need you invading my privacy." She said with an imperial wave of her hand. 

"Why such hostility, Second Child?" His face was pleasant. 

"You know damn well why I'm hostile. You and your 'brothers' cause us pain and anguish. I don't want you near me." 

"I understand. However, I am not like my brethren." 

"What do you mean? Just because you look human, doesn't mean...." 

"We are all human in nature, Miss Soryu, my brothers and I. This is my true form. I am an angel from above, one of thousands that exist in the realm of the Almighty. I, and 16 of my brethren, were chosen to test humanity. They chose their forms of battle and attacked the place where the fight would be greatest." 

"Even so. How are you different from them?" 

"Their views of humanity were objective. They all were chosen to battle because of their belief that humanity has lost its value. My views were sympathetic. I did not wish to see humanity persecuted. That is why I befriended the pilot Shinji Ikari." 

"But, he's in pain right now because of you! He doesn't even want to talk about you!" She said with fury. 

"I know." His face was heart-wrenchingly sad. "Shinji was forced to destroy my physical form. It was a painful experience for him. But, it was the only way. I wanted Shinji to win. If he hadn't, mankind would have been destroyed. I rejoice that Shinji was strong enough to do what was right." 

"You rejoice, but he's still in pain. A pain that _you_ caused. You all cause pain, regardless of your reasons." 

"I know Shinji harbours no ill feelings toward me." 

"Well, he's stupid then. I don't trust you." She said, with childish spite. 

"I know, Second Child. That is why I'm here. I need to gain your trust." 

Asuka frowned at the angel boy in front of her. In the darkness, he was the light. His face was kind.... handsome.... trustworthy. He looked at her with caring eyes. Red eyes. 

Like Rei. 

"Gain my trust.... For what?" She said. Tabris inched closer to her, his seraphic face caring. She felt a familiar wave of warm calmness. 

"I need your trust to help humanity." 

"Why me." 

"Because, of the 6 chosen pilots, you have been chosen to bear my burden." 

She felt they were going around in circles. "Chosen by whom? And who are the 6 pilots?" 

"Chosen by me." He avoided the last question. Asuka noticed that he was getting closer to her. She fought the urge to move away. 

"Why was I chosen?" 

"Because, of everyone, you are closest to him. I must warn him of the upcoming events." 

"Why don't you visit him in his dreams?" 

"It's not that simple, Asuka. As you say, he is still hurt. I would not wish him to wear the burden. I'm afraid he could not handle it." 

"You're not making any sense! What burden do I have to bear?" 

"The burden of me." He stated simply. 

Tabris cupped her face in hands and kissed her forehead. Then, he tipped her head upwards and kissed her lips lightly. Although this was a dream, it seemed very real to Asuka. He released her before she could react. 

"What was that..." She whispered. 

"To gain your trust." He smiled softly. 

"Gain my trust? You just took advantage of me." 

"We both know what is in your heart, Asuka Langley. Be true to yourself." He said, his image becoming faint. 

"You're the one who's changed me, aren't you?" She called. "You're the one who's changed my attitude! I can't control myself anymore. I want to get angry, but I don't. It's you, isn't it?" 

"No." He lingered. "I haven't made you change yourself. You changed by yourself. I merely influenced you, guided you in the right direction. Are you unhappy?" 

"I don't know, but.... I'm not pleased that you influenced me without my permission." She said with a frown. 

"Influences are not such that needs permission. They just happen. Everything that you encounter influences you in some way. They make you what you are, for good or for bad." 

"...." 

"It is time for me to go. We will meet again, Second Child. Until then, remember what I have told you." 

Tabris faded from her sight and she attempted to catch him, but ended up groping in mid-air. Then, she felt as if she was falling again from the void. As she was falling, the only thing she could think about was his kiss...

[End of Chapter 1] 

* * *

Author's note: Hiya! Part One is done! (Hee hee that rhymed) Ok, lemme explain some things. First of all, I _do_ believe that Shinji would dote on Asuka after she woke up from unconsciousness (I hate to say coma because I'm not sure if that is true and coma's are very difficult to wake up from. Realistically, I mean.) Because, taking from the scene in the movie, he seems to rely on her a lot for support. In the movie (spoilers!) He begged Asuka to awaken because he was practically at his wits end, which is understandable. In my judgment, if Asuka did wake up when he was in this state, I believe that he would very much dote on her and try to be with her as much as possible.

Second of all, I should hope that after the 17th angel, things would get back to semi-normal (as far as society is concerned) and people would start moving back to Tokyo 3. So that's my explanation. Comments, questions, and concerns are welcome! E-mail me: [ariannel@hotmail.com][1]

   [1]: mailto:ariannel@hotmail.com



	3. Ray of Light - Chapter 2

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*********************

*I've been searching for the meaning

*What makes you full of grace

*But I'm looking for sweet inspiration

*In the eyes of a strangers face

*

*I walk hand in hand in hand in hand

*I walk hand in hand in hand in hand

*

*True visions of perfection

*Beyond what is wrong and what is right

*I will find my sweet inspiration

*And summon the day from night

*

*In hand in hand

*In hand in hand 

*********************

-Taken from **track 4 of ****Opus III:Guru Mother**

Chapter 3:Hand in Hand

By: Ariannel

******Ray of Light****

****|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||**

******Chapter3*** 

The three Eva pilots are walking through the corridors of Nerv Headquarters.Asuka had taken the lead with Shinji behind her.Rei brought up the rear.That morning, they received a call from Misato at home stating they should report to Nerv conference room 3 immediately.Asuka left the apartment quickly, dragging Shinji with her.They met Rei halfway there. 

Asuka was in a curious disposition at the moment.Her mind was filled with commotion, which was not so unpleasant as altogether pleasant.She felt elated, somehow, and she didn't know why this was.She felt a sort of liveliness course through her veins and she vaguely wondered if it had anything to do with Tabris.Doubtless it was.Since he made his presence known in her mind month ago, she could feel him with every breath and every movement she made.His calm beauty and gentle emotional caresses eased her at the most volatile moments of her fragile existence and filled her with a sense of purpose, albeit she knew not what that purpose was.The angel made his own purpose vague at best and he would not tell her anything beyond what he had enlightened her with those first few nights after her awakening.

Even so, she was able to live with the vagueness as his reassurance washed over her every moment she distressed about it.She managed to put her worries out of her mind and started to live for the moment.And she realized that once she started to do that, she managed, little by little, to regain her self confidence.

"Shinji, quit lagging and pick up the pace!"She said, walking quickly down the corridor.

"It's not life or death, Asuka.Why are you in such a hurry?" Shinji said quietly.

"Be_cause, Third Child!This is the moment we've been waiting for, right?Aren't you of all people curious to know what will happen? "_

"Maybe.... I'm not so sure that I want to know anymore.I'm a little scared."

"Dummy!"Asuka turned around and faced Shinji and Rei, walking backwards. "You're so dramatic.Hey, Wonder girl, what do _you think?"_

":..."

"Oh c'mon!I realize that this won't affect_ you at all seeing as you're the Commanders favorite, but tell us anyway."_

"I do not know."She said softly.

"Of course."She said bitterly.The she sighed."Well, if you ask _me I don't think we'll all be sent away like you think, Shinji. I mean, we pilot the most expensive machinery known to man!And we're the ONLY one's who can pilot it.How much sense does it make to send us away without a second glance?It would be stupid of them."_

"How can you be so sure?"

"I don't know, gut feeling or something... how should I know?"

Finally, at the end of the corridor, they came across two large black doors with the Nerv logo on the left-hand door.Asuka paused in front of it andtook a deep breath to relax her.Then she smiled and opened her eyes, gesturing to her fellow pilots.

"Ok!We're here, let's go."

Inside was a long black table with a shimmering surface which glinted off the lights of the high ceiling.The walls were painted a dark red and at the back of the room she saw a large screen.Seated at the end of the table closest to the screen was Misato Katsuragi.Next to her was Dr. Akagi who clasped a clipboard and peered at them expressionlessly through her glasses.Standing up was Professor Fyuutsuki who wore a slightly irritated expression on his drawn face.

"We're here!" Her pleasant greeting died quickly when she saw the grave faces of her superiors. " Whoa... is this morbid or what?"

Asuka cautiously sat down at the black table in a high-back leather chair, which molded comfortably to her body.Shinji took a seat next to her, and Rei sat next to him.Asuka noticed Professor Fyuutsuki frown and whisper something to Misato who spat something back with annoyance.The professor straightened and turned his attention to the children.

"Well, if you will excuse me, there is some business I shall attend to."He left the conference room quickly, to the bewilderment of Asuka.As he walked out, Misato muttered a curse under her breath then turned her attention to the young pilots.

"I'm going to be plain with you guys. I have some news and you might or might not like it."She said wearily and flashed Dr. Akagi a glance. Asuka raised her brows in expectance and noticed Shinji frowning.

"First of all," Misato continued, "we have just received information that Nerv will be acquiring three more pilots shortly."

Despite the very fact that she was expecting such a declaration, Asuka's whole body went rigid and a upsurge of disbelief and awe flooded her body followed by a deep feeling of unreality.She could feel Tabris in her mind coaxing her emotions at ease but she shoved him away violently, her own feelings far more deep-seated.

"Three more?But...."Shinji shook his head and glanced at Rei who graced him with a placid gaze.Asuka, observing them, noticed that even Rei had a feeling of uneasiness within her.

"These children have been through secret training for the last few years."Dr. Akagi stated with a wave of her hand. 

"Don't worry, you're not the only one's who are shocked."Misato added bitterly.There was a quiet but deadly exchange between Dr. Akagi's stern face and Misato's unwavering distaste.Asuka noticed that there was something weird going on between the two friends, but she pushed that aside to ask a more immediate question.

"Secretly training for three years?How come they were never transferred _here? We could have used them, dammit!"_

"That's a question I would also like to ask, Asuka.However, Commander Ikari is closed mouthed to the entire affair.Even Professor Fyuutsuki wouldn't talk."

"Why more pilots?Isn't... Isn't everything finished now?"Suddenly, she could feel him tense and clench his fists in anger.He shot up and slapped his hands on the table. "Kaworu was the last one!There _is no more, right?"_

"To tell you honestly, Shinji, I don't know.Commander Ikari won't say a word other than it is required.I hate being in the dark as much as you do, but the Commander says that preparation is needed and all will be known in time."

"So, where are they from?"Asuka asked.Dr. Akagi looked at the clipboard.

"Two girls are from America, and one boy is from England.They will be arriving with their own Eva's in one week."

"Unfortunately, this means new living arrangements will be made."Misato said.

"One week?"Asuka repeated.

"New living arrangements?"Shinji asked.

"Shinji will move in with the new boy.Asuka and the girls will be sharing an apartment, and Rei will move in with Misato."

"Misato!Are you kicking us out for Wonder girl?"

Misato shrugged."Sorry guys.Ikari's orders.Nothing I can do about it."

"Why does he care?He never did before..." Shinji said. 

"This is stupid!What if I hate these girls?"In shocking realization, she knew she would rather live with Rei than with two strange girls.

" Well, judging from their personal reports, I'd say that you'd get along with at least one of them."Akagi offered.

"Hmmph!They'd better not be weird!I've had enough weird for a lifetime."She said, sinking further into her seat.

"This isn't permanent, you know.The Commander wants to know how a new living arrangement will affect your piloting."

Asuka remained silent and festered in her own anger._Why new more pilots?What need is there?There's something missing about this whole equation and it makes me sick to think of what it could be…._She thought.

"An experiment."Rei said softly.Everyone's attention turned to the strange young pilot and she offered nothing more than a somber stare.Asuka had a feeling that Rei wasn't eager for the new arrangement either.But she knew that the girl would follow orders without complaint, as she had always done.Her complacent attitude was exactly what Asuka frowned on most.

"Well, at least I won't have to suffer through another one of Pervert Shinji's attacks again!"She stated, trying to lighten the mood, and lighten her own heart.Shinji's reaction was as expected.

"W-what?I never-"

"You did too!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

Asuka stuck her tongue out at him with a "nyaaaaaa", and crossed her arms with a smirk.At least she could find solace with childish antics.She found confidence in acting antagonistic and confidence is what she needed most now.

"Enough, you guys.Pipe down 'cause this next bit of news won't be so pleasant."Misato said.Asuka and Shinji exchanged a glance.Shinji frowned and fidgeted apprehensively.

"It has also been decided that Asuka will leave for Germany for three months."

Silence.The room became wholly soundless.Shinji looked at Asuka, wide eyed.A number of expressions passed over Asuka's face.

Confusion 

Anger

Shock.... 

Her face slowly lost it's color.

"Y-you've got to be joking...."

"Asuka...."Shinji lingered.

"I'm sorry, Asuka.I fought long and hard against this one."Misato said with regret.

"What for?Why do I have to leave?"

"You're continued training will be done in Germany for three months.During that time, all Eva's will be upgraded with S2-Engines.By the time you get back, everyone will be ready for battle.You will assume the living arrangements with the girls then."

"Ready for battle?!"Shinji said, voice cracking with tension.

"Continued training?Why can't I train here?"Panic crept into Asuka's voice.

"To be blunt, with your current state we believe that your recovery would be slow if it were commenced here.A fresh new start back in Germany is believed to help you regain control.And when I say "we" I mean the Commander and I."Dr. Akagi said.

"That's not called training.It's called therapy...."Asuka said, bowing her head and hiding her eyes beneath her fringe.

"Asuka, please.You have so much potential!You just have to work on it.And it's only three months.You'll be back here before you know it."Asuka said nothing.

" W-When does she leave?"Shinji inquired.

"In two weeks."

"Is that all the news?"Asuka asked, voice barely above a whisper.Misato's face frowned with sympathy.

"Yeah, Asuka, that's it."She said.

Asuka stood up and left the room without a single glance back.

***

"You know, she's gonna be ok, Shinji.She's a little upset right now, but everything will be fine, you'll see.She's a strong girl."Misato said in the conference room.Gauging from the look on Shinji's face, she noticed that he wasn't going to be taking that very well either.When had he grown so attached to the girl?

"Can I be excused?"He asked.

She sighed and waved her hand in dismissal. "Sure, go ahead."

Shinji ran out of the conference room hurriedly, to catch up with Asuka, she supposed.She saw Rei stare after him curiously and then glance back at herself and Dr. Akagi. 

"You may go too, Rei."Akagi said.Rei nodded and left the conference room.After the doors shut completely, Dr. Akagi slammed her clipboard down on the shiny black table and glared at Misato.

"Was that really necessary, Misato?"She said, voice like ice.Misato feigned indifference.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ritsuko."

"You know damn well what I'm talking about, Misato.Those kids aren't stupid; they'll know something is up."

"So what?You really can't blame them, can you?Our entire lives are at danger and you and the Commander want to play mind games with us."She shot back angrily. 

"What I do is in the best interest of everyone."

"Of course, Ritsuko.Keeping us all in the dark is a wonderful idea.Thanks a million."

"You'll understand everything soon, Misato."

"Sometimes I wonder.You really can't blame me for being doubtful, Ritsuko, when my best friend is keeping secrets from me.Life-threatening secrets." She added for emphasis. Then out of pure spite, she continued.

"You know, you and me are the same, Ritsuko.We both hate to be in the dark.The difference is that **I** don't sleep around for information."

Misato is awarded with slap to the face.Dr. Akagi's eyes fill with hatred.

"You're not the only one hurting, Misato.Don't you think I regret my actions?Don't you think I've thought about that?What I did, I'm not happy about.In fact, the only thing that's keeping me going is my work, because if I think about what I have done, I'd rather kill myself.Don't think you're the only one hurting, Misato.Far from it."

She stalked out of the conference room, leaving her clipboard behind on the table.Misato caressed her reddened cheek and winced in pain.She looks around the empty room and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Ritsuko....."

***

Asuka stared at herself in the mirror.Her red hair was matted to her face, wet and dripping on the floor.The walk in the rain had calmed her anger, and the cold numbed her spirit._So I'm leaving.... I never thought they would send me away.Even for a little while.I can't believe I'm going back to Germany.Can I go back there?_

She made her way to her bedroom, dried her hair, and slipped out of her wet clothes and into a tank top and drawstring cotton pants.She collapsed on her bed with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling._Tabris, where are you now?What do you say to this?I know you're there.You're always there.You've been there since I woke up in the hospital........Why don't you say something??_

Immediately a wave of weariness washed over her and her eyes drooped.Within seconds, she was sound asleep.

***

Again, Asuka found herself in a void of darkness, the only light being her own body.She peered all around her for the familiar form of the 17th Angel.Finally, he appeared in front of her with his usual lopsided grin.

"Asuka Langley."He said.

"There you are."

"You called for me?"He inquired.She raged.He knew exactly why she called for him.And he'd better wipe that smirk off his face before she turned violent.She crossed her arms in defiance.

"How can I help humanity like you say when I'm going to Germany, hmm?Did you expect this to happen?Is this all part of the master plan?"Sarcasm dripped from her voice.She couldn't help it.To her surprise, he scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin.

"This_ was _unexpected, but it doesn't matter.It is not for a long length of time.The head of operations is acting according to the Dead Sea Scrolls.You will not be left out."

Asuka peered at him, "How interesting!You seem upset.What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing that you need to know."He said.

"Touchy, touchy.It's because you won't be close to Shinji, isn't it?"She knew she hit bulls-eye when a slight flush crept into his pallid cheeks.She grinned.

"Yes, that's it!Don't think I haven't figured it out, because it's all too obvious!You're in love with him, aren't you?No no, don't try to deny it!I can tell!Your eyes get all crinkly and the corners of your lips turn up when he's even mentioned!Oh my god, I don't believe this!Don't genders matter to you angels???" Tabris resumed his self-assured lopsided grin, to her irritation.

"In love, yes, but not in the sense that you mean.My love for him is different than you imagine.And, to answer your question, genders don't matter to us angels because we don't need procreate.The Almighty creates us."

"Heh Heh... and now you're stuck with me for three months.My, how sweet revenge is.You're bonded with me, aren't you?I can feel it."

"You're correct.I'm bonded to your soul.If you are destroyed, so am I."

"Why?Why are you bonded to me?"

Tabris offered a sad smile and spread his hands. "I have nowhere else to go.I am an outcast.I have betrayed my own kind."

"How did you betray them?"She wasn't expecting that answer.

"I was dishonest to the Almighty when I was chosen as the 17th Angel to fight humanity.For that, I have been cast out."

"Dishonest?Wouldn't he know you were being dishonest?"

"Yes, of course he knew.But I was chosen anyway.I knew what the consequences would be."

"So you're cast out forever?"She was shocked.He smiled again.

"No. The Almighty is forgiving.I will return when the final trial is over."

"Oh how kind." She spat with sarcasm.Religion was meaningless to her after her experiences."Until then you're practically mortal."

"Everything that the Almighty decides is reasonable.I understand his judgment and I believe it was fair."

"If the Almighty was so 'mighty' then why doesn't just make us do what he says?"

"Because humanity has been given free will.You are allowed to think for yourselves and act for yourselves.The Almighty does not wish to command you."

Asuka didn't know what to say to that, but kept a suspicious look on her face.She knew from her experiences that the only person she could count on was herself.God, the Almighty, or whatever, meant squat to her.She knew that Tabris was aware of her doubt.

"You will come to understand eventually"

"I hope you're not thinking about preaching to me every time we meet."

"Not at all."He grinned.Asuka sighed.

"Three more pilots are arriving.That would make six of us.Is that what you mean by the Six Chosen?"

"No, there is one more."

Asuka frowned."Ok, I'm not stupid. That would make 7 Chosen."

"One of you will not be a pilot."He said simply."The Six Chosen must be human, there's one among you who is.... different."

"Who's different?"

"Ask Shinji.He knows."

Asuka made the motion of stamping her foot. "Honestly, why won't _you tell me?"_

"Because I don't want to?"The silly expression on his face was enough to make her livid.

"Aaaargh!You're lucky you don't have a physical body or else you'd get the pounding of your life!How childish!"

"Well, I _am_ a child."He said as a matter of fact. 

"I thought you were billions of years old or something."She was awarded with a laugh.

"No, I wasn't created until recently.According to earth years, I'm about 15 years old."

"_Mien Gott...Life's full of surprises."_

"Indeed."

"What are you smirking at?"

"I was just thinking.... you're kind of amusing."

"Oh thank you, your highness, I'm honored to please you."She said sarcastically.

"Now now, lets not get feisty."His voice betrayed the fact that he was trying to hid his mirth.

"I'm not getting feisty!!"She shouted.He really _was_ like a boy!She didn't think that angels teased or laughed or had any remotely human qualities.Even though his evasiveness infuriated her, she was relieved to know that he wasn't all somber and knowledge.Maybe….. maybe she could get used to him coexisting inside her…

"I just want to say that it won't be so bad being bonded to you."

Asuka looked shocked and furrowed her brows in confusion.

"I think I like you."That statement floored her and she was stumped as to what to say.He liked her?

"Well, It's time to go.People will become suspicious if you're always asleep."

"W-wait!One more thing before you go."

"Of course."

"You... you can't read my thoughts, can you?"He laughed.

"No, I can't.I can only see what you see and hear what you hear." She smiled.

"Good."

***

Shinji had followed Asuka discreetly on her way home from the conference.He observed that she had walked rigidly and with her head down most of the time.The rain had soaked her pretty new blue dress and it clung to her body the more it got wet.Shinji could see the men on the street staring at her and whistling.His eyes flashed in anger and he frowned at them.He resisted the urge to confront them on her behalf, blowing his cover, and continued to follow.She didn't seem to notice him _or _the whistling men.When she finally arrived at the apartment, he decided to wait a few minutes before entering himself.

_What am I going to do when Asuka leaves? _He thought. Sighing, he leaned his head back against the wall next to the door.A pained expression crossed over his face and, for a moment, he felt 10 years older than he really was.

_And what about Rei?How am I supposed to act around her?She's not the same Rei that I knew... its scary being around her now._He knew that he shouldn't ignore the girl just because he knew what she was, but, it was hard to abolish the discomfort he felt when in her presence.He wondered if this Rei was anything like the last.Did she retain the memories of her…. other self?If she did, what did she know?How did she feel about him?About Asuka or Misato?

"Ikari-kun?"

Shinji's eyes snapped open and he drank in the sight of Rei Ayanami before him.She was soaked to the bone and her expression was bland but, after peering closely, he could see a faint trace of curiousness.Suddenly the image of the giggling, soulless Rei's flashed through his head and he grimaced.

"Ikari-kun?"She repeated.

"Uh... Ayanami.H-hello."

"You forgot your new ID card."She said softly and offered the card to him.He took it.

"Uh, thanks."

"You are welcome."She said, and turned to leave.

"Uh, Rei?" He asked.Something had occurred to him.She turned around and gave him a questioning look.

"You followed me here, didn't you?"

"Of course."She said simply.

"Why?"

"To present your new ID card."

"But, you could have let Misato give it to me."

"Major Katsuragi was busy."

"She could have given it to me later."He said.He was fishing for something.Anything to let him know that she was…. Ok.That the Rei he knew before wasn't completely gone.That he still had a friend in her.After a long pause, she replied.

"I wanted to give it to you."

"Why?"Another pause.

"I don't know."

"Do.... do you remember anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember anything about.... the previous.... um.... Rei?"

"A little... why do you ask?"

"J-just curious.You're different than before."

"Different?"

"Y-yeah.Um, more.... curious.Talkative."She, paradoxical, said nothing to that.

"That's all I wanted to say."She hesitated, then:

"Do you.... dislike me?"

"Uh.... n-no.It just.... takes getting used to."

"I understand."She turned to leave.

"Rei?Don't do that again.Don't die again.It's... it's really hard on your friends."

"I won't."

"Good."He said, and sighed in relief. 

"Thank you."She said.

"For what?"

"For being my… friend."Rei left quickly and Shinji stared after her.He smiled.

_I'm not sure if I like the old Rei or the new Rei.... I wonder if her personalities change when she..... dies and.... get's reborn?_Shinji cleared his head and turned around to open the apartment door.He puts his ear to the door but could hear nothing.He entered quietly and raced to his room to avoid dripping on the carpet.He stripped and changed into dry clothes, then crossed over to the balcony and laid his clothes out to dry.

_Asuka must be in her room.I wonder how she's doing?_He sneaked over to her room and, on his knees; slid open the door to Asuka's room.He found her on her bed, sound asleep.

_She's been tired a lot recently.I wonder what's wrong with her?_He quietly closed the door and made his way to his bedroom, flopping on his bed.

_I wonder what the new pilots will be like.I hope they're nice. _He sighed and rolled over. _We only have two more weeks before Asuka leaves.I'd better make the best of it._

He reached under his bed for his SDAT player and fell asleep to the soft music that poured into his ears.

***

Commander Gendo Ikari sat in his chair in the Primnov box, his chin rested on his gloved hands.His expression was neutral.Professor Fyuutsuki entered the room and appeared to the right side of Commander Ikari.He said nothing.

"I trust the conference went smoothly."The Commander said.

"As smoothly as to be expected, sir."

"Any problems with the Second Child?"

"As Major Katsuragi reported, she was not too happy, but she did not outright refuse."

"Good.We cannot afford to keep useless pilots."

"If I may ask, sir, what is the purpose in appointing Rei to live with the Major?"

"Rei needs to get used to living again.I believe that the Major would be a good influence and she is suitable for the position having been living with the other two pilots for some time now.Unless, Professor, you wish to volunteer?"

"No, sir."Silence.

"The Major is suspicious, Commander."

"Of course she is."

"She may be disloyal."

"No.The Major wants to know our secrets.She knows she can turn to no one else for information.She will stay loyal to us."

"Will you tell her?"

"Perhaps."Again, silence.

"What about your son?"

"What about him, professor?"The man was bearing on his patience.

"You know of his feelings toward the Second Child even if he doesn't realize it himself.Is it really beneficial to separate them?"

"Yes.He must learn not to depend so much on others.He must depend on solely himself."

"Like father, like son."The professor claimed bitterly.

"Indeed."

*****

End of Chapter 3

Authors note:Alright, folks.This is the next installment of 'Ray of Light'.All comments, praises, and constructive criticism is welcome.I struggled for a time and battled with myself on the grounds of making Asuka leave the team for a while.Apologies if the characters seem out of character.I am trying to keep them within character as much as possible, but it is hard to do for Asuka when she's going through so much mental and emotional change.As for Rei, well, Rei is like a clean slate now.Within reason, of course.My story would suddenly become ridiculous if she started acting like a normal girl. But, hopefully, a little bit of this Rei will be different from the last.In a good way.

Again, C&C appreciated: [ariannel@hotmail.com][1]

Ja, Mata!

--Ariannel

   [1]: mailto:ariannel@hotmail.com



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